Home and Away

Wow.  Two months to the day.  I would love to make all kinds of notations and give so many anecdotes, but that would be cruel of me to do.  When time flies as it has the past two months, telling each story at once (even if I did let them all publish at appropriate, separate times) would take away from their value.  They’re no longer immediate.  Half the details and emotional echoes are gone.  I wouldn’t do that to any story, memory, friend, or whatever else.

I will say though, that I just got back from an amazing two days of orienatation.  I will admit, I went in only thinking, “Gah, I only want to register and be done, why all this?“  But I turned out being one the most active people there.  I think I got more pumped up than almost anyone else.  That’s the way I work I suppose, soaking up all the energy and letting it go wild.  It’s funny, since I came back to check my email at home only to find that I had already gotten several friend requests from people I had met, even if we only had one short practically meaningless conversation shorter than this paragraph.

It was really odd, and then more kept coming as other got home.  I suppose my name would be easy to find – it’s unique for the most part (where I live anyway).  It kept me on my happy ways.  I love it, I honestly do.  Of course, coming home, I’m suddenly hit with the presence of my mother.  My mother, who is also suddenly hit with my returning presence.

It hits us – I’m leaving, quasi-indefinitely.  Talk about emotional backlash.

“I may never see you again.”  Which is probably an exaggeration, since she’s my mom, and I’m her oldest and closest son.  But, it holds a very important, vital, heart-pausing idea – we don’t know what the future holds and whether I’ll see her again every week, every month, or just every semester – for a day.  I won’t even try to man up or whatever else – it’s a very big, life-changing thing.  My only consolation is that I do lead my own life, and I can drop it all if I really want to.  I can just stay, be with family and good childhood friends, and be happy – that is totally a possibility.

And besides, it’s nice to go out and at least get my feet wet.  Nothing tried, nothing earned.