Two Sides of the Same Coin

I am going to say now that this is both related to the previous post, and not related. I hope you understand after you’ve read.

It has occured to me that the depth of my emotional awareness and understanding is also the source of my emotional anguish.  Not to say that I’m depressed or “emo” or anyting like that.  It is simply that I have a greater understanding of emotional pain of others whilst juxtaposed to my own elation.

For example, someone who I really don’t like and bothers me constantly consciously and otherwise has been “put in their place” as it were.  On the one hand, in that dark not-s0-little corner where my vindictiveness survives, I am pleased to see some kind of justice dealt out to that asshole.  On the other hand, I’ll feel sorry for the person; who likes being “put in their place”?

Mm… better context: teacher you don’t like who seems to have in for you getting fired.  Happy that the teacher’s gone; sorry for them because what are they going to do now?

It’s hard to reconcile, but I know that people aren’t perfect; we have flaws.  That’s why we make mistakes.  To me though, mistakes were meant to be made so we could learn.  The consequences were just deterents.  Unless of course it’s just someone who really doesn’t care, regardless of the consequences.

Even so, I feel sorry for people, even if they are “getting what they deserve” or however else you want to put it.  Such a big heart, but one so so sensitive.  Hahah, a blessing-curse indeed.

It’s nice to be aware, but it’s also… a conflict.  A constant conflict-resolution in the heart.  But I guess, that’s what empathic people have to deal with.