Occupation… renewed?

I’ve been a fanfic… fan, for several years now – some things that I’ve read and saved predating my introduction to the fanfiction world.  They were just that good (at least to me.)  Yes, I have written some. I’ve only ever posted one, and it was incomplete (still is, actually).

Author and reader! Especially reader – I think my record is finishing one almost 300k words long in less than three days (two and a half).  That was having just finished one the day before starting, and with two more for the weekend (this was a tuesday-thursday reading marathon).  It was a very satisfying week, since they all turned out well written, and sufficiently if not especially engaging.

But, it has come to my attention, as an undergrad art major, that I have nothing but time. Time which can be spent sleeping or… doing something.  Now, all that time is perfect for getting art done – but once it’s done, the rest of that daily chunk of free time has to be dealth with somehow.  True, I could sleep more – and I do love sleep, but I’m not enough of a narcoleptic to make that my past time.  So, fanfiction has come back to bite me in my derriere.

I have the above mentioned fic to hash out and actually finish, but besides that, boredeom breeds… odd things. Odd things which will become other pieces of amateur literature, posted in the public domain, free for all to read and critique. Sounds like I’m sending the experiments of a mad scientist out into the world as another, bigger experiment.

That would be a more accurate statement if I was that bizarre when it came to writing. But I like my literature to be of a decent standard at least – actually involving plots and some real wit beyond reasonable characterization.  Well, guess I can put all my people-watching to the test and see what I’ve learned taking the real-life psychology/sociology crash course.

Wish me luck!

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Today is Brought to YOU by the word:

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So this is Higher Education…

Damn. Ten days late of two months. I can’t even keep up that schedule? How sad.

In other news [or not really] today’s post has been  brought to you by: selective boredom.  There’s a few projects all due within the next week, one on Monday, but for today, for this day, I’ll just not do it.  Not that there’s been much else to do either.

I would like to point out though that the college experience is too funny.  On one hand, I’m utterly bored in class.  It all seems so… old to me.  And everyone thinks I must be 16 at the oldest, and they all look a good 20 on average, give or take a year or two.  And still, I can’t handle how mindless it is.

That must sound funny, not being able to handle something mindless.  But I’ve done it before.  I’ve gone over these concepts several times before, at this same level, at a few higher ones.  I don’t have time to waste listening to the same thing.  But what else can I do?  Pre-reqs are pre-reqs – and that’s bullshit, really.  But whatever.  I can just get an even earlier start on myself.

It’s ridiculous that I can’t just do it.  But I work best under pressure.  I work best when there’s a challenge.  I work best when I have to actually think about what I’m doing.  Not think because it’s best to think over it as a general rule to be sure.  Think because it’s an engaging subject.  It’s terrible to not have that kind of engagement in life, and especially in school.  What else then would really keep one there?

And with most of everything being paid by some scholarship or other, I don’t feel very inclined to stay based on my having already paid out the money.  It’s not mine.  What a conundrum indeed.

But, I can’t really slander the free services. Every so-so a free movie night.  Tons of food at almost all times, granted that I’ve already paid the meal plan.  Totally not proportional at all [food>price, at least for those of us who eat a lot].  Other than that, I might as well get a job.  What graphics have I not sufficiently dabbled in to call “experienced”?  But work and I don’t get along, as evidened by how I do my schoolwork.

Oh well.  Here’s to the end of this quasi-stream of conciousness.  Sweet Dream or a Beautiful Nightmare – Beyoncé aka Sasha Fierce

Home and Away

Wow.  Two months to the day.  I would love to make all kinds of notations and give so many anecdotes, but that would be cruel of me to do.  When time flies as it has the past two months, telling each story at once (even if I did let them all publish at appropriate, separate times) would take away from their value.  They’re no longer immediate.  Half the details and emotional echoes are gone.  I wouldn’t do that to any story, memory, friend, or whatever else.

I will say though, that I just got back from an amazing two days of orienatation.  I will admit, I went in only thinking, “Gah, I only want to register and be done, why all this?“  But I turned out being one the most active people there.  I think I got more pumped up than almost anyone else.  That’s the way I work I suppose, soaking up all the energy and letting it go wild.  It’s funny, since I came back to check my email at home only to find that I had already gotten several friend requests from people I had met, even if we only had one short practically meaningless conversation shorter than this paragraph.

It was really odd, and then more kept coming as other got home.  I suppose my name would be easy to find – it’s unique for the most part (where I live anyway).  It kept me on my happy ways.  I love it, I honestly do.  Of course, coming home, I’m suddenly hit with the presence of my mother.  My mother, who is also suddenly hit with my returning presence.

It hits us – I’m leaving, quasi-indefinitely.  Talk about emotional backlash.

“I may never see you again.”  Which is probably an exaggeration, since she’s my mom, and I’m her oldest and closest son.  But, it holds a very important, vital, heart-pausing idea – we don’t know what the future holds and whether I’ll see her again every week, every month, or just every semester – for a day.  I won’t even try to man up or whatever else – it’s a very big, life-changing thing.  My only consolation is that I do lead my own life, and I can drop it all if I really want to.  I can just stay, be with family and good childhood friends, and be happy – that is totally a possibility.

And besides, it’s nice to go out and at least get my feet wet.  Nothing tried, nothing earned.

Simply Lovely

Three weeks, and so much has happened.  I cannot even being to say how much there was.

Boat Regatta
James
IB Exams
New Earring
…and several other things

All in all though, it’s been pleasant, and nothing short of memorable. Only one more IB exam left – Spanish.  I think we’ll all do okay though.  All the others were varying… disasters, with the notable exception of History, which was a very very pretty looking disaster when we were done with it.

This past week has been memorable for sure.  Taboo during class (senior classes in the last 3 weeks? what else would we do?) and Leading Ladies performed at school with a good friend in a leading role. P rom and graduation are right around the bend, and we’re all going crazy over last minute money scambles.  Gotta get tickets, gotta ensure whatever it is we need.  Last minute dates.  It’s all been very exciting, honestly.

What makes today stand out to me though was the sheer easy-breezy feeling to it.  No rush, no pressure, very simple.  And I was hit this afternoon with this sudden feeling of elation.  It’s an odd type of feeling to have, since it’s what would happen with those of us who were in love, and there are those moments where we’re just blissfully content to just bask in the love we know we have.  It’s that kind of simple yet complete elation.

Only, I’m not in love with anybody, nor anything even of the sort.  But I have no arguments to being so pleastly happy. It’s a nice way to spend an evening.  The only thing that really came out of it was a desire to share the feeling with someone – someone, as I said before, that I do not have.

Though, to be honest, I would have been fine to just randomly kiss somebody.  What kind of kiss?  Any kind to be honest, just as long as I could convey the same feeling I had.  SPREAD THE LOVE!  Isn’t that right?  It’s a unique mood to be in, one that’s sort of lovey-dovey, but only for the happy part.  I honestly don’t think anyone should miss out on it, even if only once in the lifetime, and only for a few moments.  It would be the best few moments of your life.

And simply because I had to write something, and the mood suited:

If only because it was too much trouble that day, she didn’t dress up.  Her face bare of rouge, her hair untouched, she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

It was the way she smiled as she spoiled her nieces and nephews.  It was the way she lit up the house just by being there, even if she had bedhead and was still in sweats, fresh out of bed.  It was how she just couldn’t leave things be – because it shouldn’t have to just be. It was how she was such a klutz or made corny jokes.

It was how, at 5 in the morning sitting out on the porch with a mug of hot chocolate and watching the sky slowly turn lighter, she could look like an angel.

Because she was one, and she was with him.

~Five In the Morning